Shiva is Over…Post-Election Thoughts

Resist graphic safety pin

The Jewish people have a mourning ritual that takes place after the death of a loved one, called sitting shiva. Seven days of mourning, gathering, visiting, eating deli and wallowing. The more traditional of us have our mirrors covered and sit low to the ground. I’m not one of those more traditional, but all I’ve wanted to do since the election in November is sit on my ass.

Where, oh where have I been?

I say this because I’ve been having myself my own little mourning period. I haven’t written in awhile, nor have I done much else beyond the necessary. This happens for a myriad of reasons, but this time it started with my non-sleeping son (who gratefully now is learning how to stay in his crib without crying, please don’t let this jinx this turn of events), and ends with the culmination of the most divisive presidential election campaigns I’ve seen in my 40 years. Oh…and did I mention it also finished with a thunderclap of racism, misogyny, bullying and the total insanity that is President-Elect DJT? My America died on the vine in November.

I’ve debated over whether to address this on my blog. I try to keep things positive and haven’t talked much politics, other than my defection from the Democratic party. Will I lose readers? Will people troll me? Do I give a shit about either? The answer to the first is if I do lose readers, then so be it. If they’re not willing to hear reason or have a meaningful discussion to explain why America isn’t already great then byefelicia, we’re not meant to be besties or even cordial debaters. The second, well, blocking non-productive comments is easy enough. I will no longer be silent for either of these reasons.

I’v said several times that I write to process things. I still haven’t fully processed what happened here on Election Day. I’ve had a hard time wrapping my mind around the apathy of so many people who didn’t vote and the willingness of so many people to throw so many in this country to the dogs so they can get a little attention – from someone who isn’t going to give it to them. It’s fucking mind-boggling. There, I said it. It’s FUCKING mind-boggling.

In the past month, I’ve felt much like I did post 9/11, except for this time, the people attacking our democracy are coming from within and that makes me angrier than anything. The boogeyman I’ve been afraid of all this time was living and breathing and hiding here in the good ol’ U. S. of A. I’ve already lost some friends, and family members over my views and that’s okay.  If people find my deep need for equality for all humanity, a living and breathing healthy Earth, a safe space for all colors and creeds, and a safe space for my children un-patriotic, then so be it.

Where am I going with this?

What’s important now is my relationships with those who are willing and able to resist what is happening.  It’s the longest con of our country I’ve ever seen. I gave our president-elect “a chance” but given his Cabinet appointments, ridiculous tweets and lack of a proper response to actual hate crimes, I’m done. I’m over giving him chances now.  He’s out of chances according to me. None of this is normal. In fact, it looks either like a repeat of McCarthyism, the 1930s pre-Hitler days in Germany or a combination of the two. I don’t like any of the versions of the end game he seems to have in mind.

More to come, but suffice it to say, shiva is over.  I’m now ready to use my writing to help me process, help you process, and help us resist.

Resist graphic safety pin

By Joy

I'm 42, a remarried mom of an 8 year old girl and a toddler son, a teacher, and a writer. People tell me I tend to be brutally honest and ...tell it like it is, so I had hoped to use this outlet to keep me sane while I got used to my new life as a stay-at-home Mom back when I was home with my worked. And it's been therapeutic through the end of a marriage and the emergence of me...


  1. Couldn’t have said it better myself. (And I’d like to echo Dawn’s F*ck yeah here while I’m at it). I’ve been doing my goy version of sitting shiva too. I live in New York where most people (I think) are on our wavelength. We’ve been walking around like zombies since the election. And I have to say that every morning I wake up and think it might all just be a bad dream. But then I look at the Times and — oops — it’s real. I feel your pain, girl.

    1. I know, it’s that need to know information that keeps me looking at Facebook and NPR and NYT articles…and then the terrible thing it does by reminding us it’s all real. Glad to know I’m not alone….even if we are miserable! Thanks for commenting.

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