If at first you don’t succeed…

As I’ve written here before, I tend to have anxiety.  Several things will help me deal with it, among them, exercise, quiet, and pharmaceuticals. The best remedy for me, the one that doesn’t just deal with the symptoms is meditation. And since my mini-me also seems to tend towards the anxious, I want to do everything I can to help ease her soul.

I had talked to my ex about teaching her how to meditate after seeing this meme floating somewhere around the interwebs:

She looks so much like Maya it's trippy
She looks so much like Maya it’s trippy

Whether or not this quote was actually uttered by the Dalai Lama, I believe it to be true.

I don’t usually pick her up on Mondays, but as my momma was under the weather, I got to, and we had a whole 2 hours to play with before the evening routine of picnic dinner/animated movie/bath time ensued.  She of course wanted me to play with her, but I wanted her to try to meditate with me. I’d had a hurried day, and I needed it so I bargained with her. Five minutes of meditation for an afternoon of playing.

So we got out the pillows, and I told her to sit criss-cross applesauce on hers and place her hands in  her lap. So far, so good. I use 2 apps on my iPhone, the Relax Melodies one to play my whale songs (think Dory sans actual words from Finding Nemo) and I just started using Insight Timer to track my meditations, so I showed these to her as well.  I told her that we’d close our eyes and just breathe deeply, in and out, in and out.

I pressed “start”, closed my eyes, and hoped for the best.

What I got was – “ohhh, those whales sound so cuuute!”…constant rustling of the pillow, and little feet resting on my legs.  I tried to guide her, because let’s face it, sometimes even I can’t center myself enough to not have monkey mind.  Close your eyes Maya, we don’t talk, just breathe.  She did the best her little 4-year-old self could do. It was a good challenge for me to be able to let those things go, to be okay with neither one of us doing it “perfectly” in that moment.

Just when I was thinking that she wasn’t going to last a minute longer (nor I for that matter,) I sensed her coming very close, and felt her little arms around my neck as she gave me a silent hug and kiss on the forehead. Soon after, I ended our session, and we built a fort, drank pretend tea, cuddled with plush buddies and took a pretend nap under the dining room table.

She may not have gotten it yet, but I will try and try again. If not for the possible benefits if we succeed, then for the possibility of another sweet embrace from my daughter.

 

By Joy

I'm 42, a remarried mom of an 8 year old girl and a toddler son, a teacher, and a writer. People tell me I tend to be brutally honest and ...tell it like it is, so I had hoped to use this outlet to keep me sane while I got used to my new life as a stay-at-home Mom back when I was home with my daughter....it worked. And it's been therapeutic through the end of a marriage and the emergence of me...

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