End of year, moving past the fear – Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013

So it’s the end of the year, and I would venture a guess that many people are thinking about their New Year’s Resolutions…you know, that list of things that we’ve managed to forget to do or avoid doing this year that we promise ourselves we’ll accomplish in the next.

What are my resolutions you ask?  Well, I’ve decided I’m not actually making any for the next year and I’ll tell you why.  The goals I have now are not only for 2013, but for my life in general.  I have no intention of avoiding them, or forgetting to do them. In fact, I’ve already started to implement many of them because I’ve learned in the last few months, I’m no longer satisfied with making decisions out of fear of the unknown or based on what is the more comfortable, easy choice. Yes, it took me nearly 37 years to figure this out to the point where I could change my way of doing things, but better late than never!

I’ve been thinking a lot about that concept lately – making choices out of fear.  In my yoga class this morning, the instructor talked in the practice about the following phrase — “Is this good for me?”  She meant it partially to refer to different poses and that we should never torture ourselves, but ease into what feels good to our body, not what is painful or good for someone else.  We should do what our body is capable of, and push it a bit more so that we can grow and become better.  In other words we should not attempt to run before we should walk, or do a head stand before our core is strong enough.  She also mentioned though that we should take this into our lives outside of the studio – “is this food good for me?”, “is this relationship beneficial for me?” and start living by asking ourselves these types of questions, rather than just going through the motions of our daily lives, being satisfied with what has become routine.

It makes me wonder how many people are able spend their entire lives making decisions this way, as opposed to fear-based decisions.  From where I stand now, it only makes sense to be more conscious of the things you do, the things you eat, the ties that bind you, etc….and I mean truly conscious.  Integrating your body, mind, heart and soul into all that you do.  If you don’t have those things integrated, it’s really easy for fear to take over and for choices to be made based on something other than the full picture.  If you don’t listen to your body, you’ll overeat, injure yourself in exercise, become ill from being rundown.  If you don’t listen to the rational parts of your mind, you might make choices for yourself that ignore common sense and get you into trouble.  If you don’t listen to your heart and soul, you’re likely to end up unhappy and unfulfilled, stuck in a bad situation or relationship, or kicking yourself over a missed opportunity. Or all of the above.

The integration of these things is not an easy task. I also think for most people who are even aware of needing to do this to achieve peace and happiness, it is always a work in progress.

So as we move into 2013, I am going to continue what I have already started.  By making decisions based on whether certain things, people and situations are good for me (or not.)  By continuing to run and do yoga and eat well so that I’m around to enjoy life for a long, long time.  By surrounding myself with people who bring out the best in me.  By being kind to myself and others.   By doing more of the things I enjoy because I know I deserve it. By living with an open heart so that I am able to take advantage of opportunities presented to me.  By acknowledging my fears, but not letting them be the boss of me.

I hope you all find your own peace and happiness in the coming year.  Namaste.

By Joy

I'm 42, a remarried mom of an 8 year old girl and a toddler son, a teacher, and a writer. People tell me I tend to be brutally honest and ...tell it like it is, so I had hoped to use this outlet to keep me sane while I got used to my new life as a stay-at-home Mom back when I was home with my daughter....it worked. And it's been therapeutic through the end of a marriage and the emergence of me...


  1. I definitely am all for not letting fear bind me in 2013 and I do agree that we must heed our natural warning signals. I believe God put those in place in us for a reason. I just popped over here from another blog. I’m a blog hopper, hope you don’t mind my stopping in. God bless you to have a wonderful New Year that brings you yet closer to Him.

  2. You know… I was reading the paragraph about the yoga and I thought, you have to do what feels right and comfortable for your soul too… because if you don’t, then your body suffers… and vice versa… and this is really why I put on weight in my 20’s and 30’s.

    It’s also why I’m now *losing* weight in my 40’s….

    I was thinking this and then you went and wrote it… LOL

    Four months later and it seems as though you’re now in a much more positive place 🙂 I know it will continue 🙂

    1. Since I’d say September, I’ve lost close to 25 lbs. and it has everything to do with starting to do what felt right and comfortable for me…and prior to that, I had being doing the opposite! Definitely in a more positive place now, thanks to many different elements, but mostly being true to myself. Though, I suppose I should give a special shout out to the yoga, C25K running program and MyFitnessPal.

      1. Yes, I started to lose weight after my wife and I separated… for a number of reasons but not least of all because I wanted to improve myself and be happier as a result.

        At my core, I felt fat and unhappy. Now I feel a lot slimmer and happier and – more importantly, as a happy side effect, I feel spiritually more connected.

        MFP! I love MFP LOL

        Look me up if you want a friend – rbartlett9671 🙂

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