Spanx and other musings…

So yesterday was my last OFFICIAL day of work…a half day which was great, a nice lunch with my boss and colleagues and then our holiday party (which was by all accounts pretty damn impressive).  The attire was semi-formal and Roaring 20s-themed so given that my dress was a $25 maternity number from Old Navy and I was pretty sure I only had ugly black flats to go with, I figured I better go buy some pantyhose to dress myself up.  I went to Macy’s — where for some reason they do not have anything maternity related in the lingerie/undie/hose department — but struck out (other than 2 nice long strands of fake pearls to make my black prego sack look 20s ish).  I then went into A Pea in the Pod (for those of you who don’t know, an outrageously priced maternity shop) where I found the black Spanx pantyhose I was looking for.  So after spending more on the Spanx than my dress (plus buying an only semi-ridiculously priced nursing bra), I headed home….

Fast forward to me oversleeping my nap alarm, jumping in the shower, putting on makeup for the first time in a month and getting my dress on….all is going well, just running a little late (more than a little.)  I open the Spanx ….sit down and manage to get one foot of the hose on.   Anyone who has put pantyhose on before will know that putting the second foot  on can be tricky due to the lack of stretchiness/degree of support in between the legs of the hose….but add in the EXTRA support of Spanx (which are like old school drill team hose), the fact that I have a probably 6lb baby up in my ribcage…fuggedabout it!  I couldn’t even reach my second foot.  So now I’m thinking – $28 on a pair of hose I can’t even put on because of my girth. Frick.  I tried bending over again…leaned to the side…no luck.  I stood up and tried to bend over and between not being able to breathe or reach my 2nd foot…I almost abandoned the idea, but I gave it one more shot…put the hose on the ground, stuck my toe in and kept pushing until it got to where it needed to be, and then I was able to slowly get them up.  And in the end, I…looked…mahvelous!

I will admit it is very weird to think that I will not be working (at least in the traditional sense) for God knows how long….but I definitely need the time before Maya comes to decompress.  Just today alone – my BP has gone down 10 pts.

A year ago today I was at my holiday Xmas party – managing my miscarried first pregnancy.  Everybody was in the holiday spirit, but the one present I wanted so badly was finding its way out of me and I was miserable. On my way home, I was so distracted and distraught, I made a tight left turn which caused a lovely French gentleman (who decided to speed towards my car at that exact moment) to fall off of his Harley. Thank goodness he was ok, as was his bike…and for such an unpleasant experience, he made it much easier and reminded me that not everyone in LA is sue-happy.  Needless to say, what a difference a year makes….as uncomfortable as I am right now, I am so happy that my Maya bean decided to stick – it will all be worth it in the end!

By Joy

I'm 42, a remarried mom of an 8 year old girl and a toddler son, a teacher, and a writer. People tell me I tend to be brutally honest and ...tell it like it is, so I had hoped to use this outlet to keep me sane while I got used to my new life as a stay-at-home Mom back when I was home with my worked. And it's been therapeutic through the end of a marriage and the emergence of me...

1 comment

  1. It is 1am and I am reading this crying into my leftover Thai food. I think your blog is a great thing…feels like I’m having a conversation with you 🙂

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